This is our first Christmas back in Utah since 1999, well the kids and I spent 1 here in 2008 but its the first time we've been living back here all together since January 2000. We have lost a lot over the past few months and are still scarred we might lose even more. Some of us are dealing with it better than others. Some of us pretend it hasn't been hard because that is easier to do than being sad about it all the time. Tonight we enjoyed looking through pictures from happier times like our trip to the Strawberry festival or that day we spent at Busch Gardens or all those trips to the beach. We talked about friends that we miss and we talked about Army things we miss like the sound of artillery fire or hearing Daddy laugh about a cadence he called at morning PT. We miss seing Daddy's uniform laying around the house. We miss unit Christmas parties like the one last year where Santa rolled up in a humvee. We miss knowing we were special because we were an Army family. We miss that kinship with people we really had nothing else in common with. We miss rules and regulations. We are back to what should be home and yet feel like we're so far away from home and will never be there again. We talked about how having lost everything important in life but us is so painful for Daddy that we shouldn't talk about these things when he is home, but when he goes to visit his parents we can talk about it all we want to and that is the time it is okay to talk about how much we miss it and how sad we are about what we have also lost. We remembered adventures we had, like that time Mommy and Brooke put the babies in a playpen next to the van and figured out how to replace a battery together because Daddy and Dennis were both in Iraq. We talked about that year we spent Thanksgiving with Miss Liz and the other wives and children whose soldiers were away in the war and how Miss Liz got sooooooooooo mad at Mommy for making the ham with a honey glaze! I couldn't believe the kids remembered so much of it. We talked about things we miss about Texas and things we miss about Florida and then we talked about things we like about being in Utah. I made sure they know that Daddy will eventually find a job and Mommy is getting better at hers every day. I think they are associating Utah with not having material things and we don't want them to feel that way. We talked about all the good things here they need to focus on and let the adults worry about the other stuff. We talked about how its okay we all miss the life we had in the Army more than anyone around us can possibly understand, but that we need to start being happy where we are too. We looked through pictures of the day we left Florida. These are a few of them. Hannah pointed out that one of these pictures is the last picture that will ever be taken of Daddy in a uniform. She got up and left after that and I let her because I figured we all need to deal with the loss of what we had in different ways. These are some things we said goodbye to on June 18, 2010.
Our beloved flower bed! We had so much fun making this little flower bed look pretty! We had gone to Fort Stewart and been told we would be staying in the Army (6 weeks later and with less than 2 weeks notice we were told that decision had been overturned and we had to leave immediately) so we went about making our house more of a home. We made a full day of putting this flowerbed together. You can see the Florida humidity on the camera!
This is Hannah and Kaleigh, her best friend, saying goodbye. We saved that goodbye for last and it was probably the hardest. Seeing your child hurt is the worst feeling there is.
Olivia's partner in crime, Isabella. Those two were always in trouble in Mrs. Beede's class!
Hannah and Anna. Those two went back and forth between being best friends and hating each other!
Hannah and Kaleigh together one last time. That is Jeremy in the background and, as Hannah pointed out, that is the last day he ever wore a uniform. Jeremy looks 20 years older since that picture was taken. He says they didn't discharge him that day, they killed him.
Kaleb and Kaitlyn, Isabella's older sister. These two were just alike and always in trouble.
Now for some happy pictures in Utah! Some of these are just of beautiful places we hiked this summer. We LOVE hiking together! Hiking is free, it is great exercise and, best of all, there is nothing to do but enjoy what is around us and talk. Hiking and camping make for the very best family times and I am so happy that all of my children enjoy the outdoors as much as I do.
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